Fun fact about me- I don’t drink coffee. I have never in my life needed coffee in order to wake up and stay awake. The odd morning maybe, just MAYBE, I will drink green tea (yes, I know, it’s caffeinated) but that’s the closest I’ve gotten. Even then I haven’t felt like I “needed” green tea in order to function throughout the day.
It’s not that I haven’t tried to like coffee. There have been plenty of times I have woke up in the morning and felt like I was too tired to function for the rest of the day- however, it didn’t matter how sweet I made it, the coffee was just too bitter for me. I guess it was an accustomed taste?
I have tried mochas, French vanillas; even iced coffees and frozen blends. To me it all tastes the same, too bitter and too earthy. Not to mention the caffeine high I would get that was followed by a complete body crash and migraine.
Don’t get me wrong. coffee smells incredible. When anyone around me, whether it’s at work or home, brews a pot, I cannot get enough of the smell. It just smells so fresh and enticing. However, as soon as it enters my mouth, it’s a bitter parade of water and bean juice.
Fortunately for me, anxiety has a way of keeping me up, even when I’m completely exhausted. Most nights in order to sleep, I have a TV show on or some other sort of back ground noise playing so my brain can refocus on the noise and turn off my inner commentary.
If the room is too silent, my mind will run wild and replay every even/encounter I have had throughout the day. I analyze every conversation and very event on replay in my brain until I have over analyzed every minor detail and put all my irrational fears and worries to rest (which never happens).
Even nights where I toss and turn and can’t seem to reach that REM sleep, I still don’t drink coffee.
My friends and colleagues at work wonder how I am able function during my day to day activities, which include working out. My answer is always quite simple: when you have high functioning anxiety, you don’t need caffeine. Your brain will run a thousand miles per second on fight or flight alone.
Overthinking your daily encounters are more than enough to get your adrenaline pumping. Especially when you worry about whether or not people are constantly judging you or whether you’re doing or saying the right things.
It’s like life is a play and you’re constantly the main protagonist on stage. People will notice when you stutter or miss a line and no matter how much you try and hide your shaky performance, people will never forget the main character who missed a step.
That’s just my first 3am thought. Even though I am up incredibly late- all night every night, I will still get up and be able function without the need of caffeine in my system.
The adrenaline of utter panic and concern from my day to day activities is enough to keep me awake all night and my brain/body functioning all day long.
Healthy? Absolutely not. My brain needs a rest.
This is your 3am thought. Do you need caffeine in your daily routine? Comment below!
The Socially Awkward Normie 