How we perceive the world around us differs from one person to the next. When you look at the analogy of the cup- is it half full or half empty, everyone has their own way of interpreting how cup the cup and the water appear to them. “The cup is half full because _____” “The cup is half empty because _____”.
It’s not even as easy as saying its optimism vs. pessimism. Some days I may look at the glass as half full. These days typically my mood is optimistic. I’m more positive, happy, active, and ready to take on the world. Other days I may see the glass as half empty or I’m more pessimistic. These days I tend to wake up exhausted, feel defeated and count down the seconds until it’s finally the end of the day.
This is how anxiety and depression feels. Some days you get a break and feel amazing, other days you feel in a fog and unable to break the chains of discontentment.
The highs and the lows, the ying and the yang, are what make the world go round. I don’t see things the way you do just like you don’t see things like I do. That’s normal.
So, what’s sad for me, may not be sad for you. What’s intriguing to me, may not be intriguing to you. That’s how we have variety in life. Different things appeal to different people. Unfortunately, though, lots of people forget this fact when it comes to mental health.
I may see my friend one day and based on their body language, tone of voice, and demeaner, I can instantly tell something is bothering them. A colleague or a stranger perceiving the same actions may think my friend is happy and having a great day. They don’t know what I know. They don’t see what I see, and that’s okay. Somethings we don’t want the world to know and just want to be keep to ourselves.
The fact is we are always on a stage when we are out in public. People are always watching and perceiving everything around them, including you. How you grabbed that box of crackers off the shelf abruptly, might make someone think that you are angry. How you talked to a friend could make them assume you’re in a relationship. How you walk holding hands with your niece might make someone believe she is your child.
These small assumptions are typically harmless. They’re just little conclusions we make based on the information we have readily available. Like judging a book based on the synopsis. We are given very minor details but don’t know the entire story yet. Why would an author give away all the good stuff on the cover? No one would buy the book.
Like books, people are often more than just their appearances, but we are very quick to jump to conclusions based on what we see, which is usually only the tip of the iceberg. But if we had more context, more background, would we look at the same situation again, maybe, a little bit differently?
With mental health and anxiety awareness being so prominent in today’s culture, we can now assume we never really know the whole story. How people appear out in public from their clothes to personality is more than just the external shell we see directly in front of us. In fact, there’s a lot of internal signals firing away, that contribute to controlling and manipulating people’s decisions and emotions.
Someone may perceive that I am socially awkward or socially inept when in reality, there is a ton of things going on in my brain from anxiety down to low self-confidence. These things people can’t see or understand unless they get to know me or I tell them. This means their judgement of me will stand unless I let them get to know the me that’s deep down, which I don’t do often.
How we perceive things is essentially an initial assumption we make. That assumption can make or break how you view someone as a person, and that assumption can become a permanent view point. How someone acts one time or one day, does not mean that’s who they are as a person. Everyone deserves a chance to show you their true self without being met with harsh criticisms.
Be kind to others around you as you probably won’t know someone’s whole story upon meeting them for the first time, or the second. People often don’t let down their walls and start feeling comfortable to be themselves around you until they also get to know you as a person. Whether you’ll judge their opinions or thoughts or share similar interests. Sometimes the initial meeting can be a coping mechanism to deal with a stressful situation.
People who suffer with social anxiety can be mistaken for being socially awkward. Most of the time socially anxious people are trying so hard to fit in, they often say things they think people want to hear instead of being their true selves. Which means the initial impression is entirely flawed.
Be conscious of the fact that we are all just trying to fit in somewhere. We are all afraid of being wrongfully perceived and worry about what other people may think of us in one way or another. If we keep this thought in the back of our mind, maybe it will help us realize when we are doing it to someone else. It may help us realize that we are all more similar than we give ourselves credit for.
Perception is just an assumption we make without having the full story. Be a kind human. Be gentle to those around you. Think twice before you draw conclusions about someone. Give second chances. Let people be their true selves around you without judgement.
Also, be yourself. The world needs you to be you.
The Socially Awkward Normie 