Here’s a new 3am thought, eat that damn piece of cake. Have two! Hell… have whole damn thing. Whatever makes you HAPPY.
We as a society spend most of our entire life chasing the dream to be healthier, thinner, more muscular, more tan- and the list goes on. Don’t have curly hair but you want curly hair. Aren’t a blonde but you want to be. We spend the majority of our time wishing we were or had something that we simply just are not or don’t have.
This fact would send my anxiety into a tail spin. I’d make a goal for myself, let’s say to lose 10 pounds, and commit 110% to it. So much so that if I gave into a craving, I would get a high from giving myself a much-deserved break, then, moments later, instant gut-wrenching guilt would set it. It still does! I think “What have I done?!” “I lost all my progress!” “I messed up!” “Time to hop on the treadmill. How many calories was that… 400?”
I’d mentally sabotage myself. The guilt would turn into self-loathing and I’d get into a deep depression about it. It could knock me down for a day, even a week or month. You know what hindered my progress? Let me tell you, it wasn’t the one slice of cake. The weeks spent curled up in bed or the couch watching mindless television eating my feelings because I was upset over having one slice of cake… that’s what hindered my progress.
Logically, it didn’t make sense-how once piece of cake could derail my entire world and everything I was working towards. That’s the funny thing about anxiety. It doesn’t have to make sense.
What made sense to me was I was doing such a great job that when I gave into temptation it meant I had lost everything- my positive mindset, my “no eating junk food” streak, my hard work… all gone. Would it have been easy to bounce back? Absolutely! It’s one piece of cake! There’s nothing to bounce back from. However, my mind was convincing me it was the end of my world.
Now I’m sure you’re wondering, “That’s a great story, but what’s the take away?” The take away is EAT THE DAMN CAKE! Life is meant to be enjoyed.
You know what’s not enjoyable? Stepping on the scale every day and letting the numbers dictate your self-worth. Missing out on a dinner party with friends because you’ll be tempted by foods you’ve labelled as “bad for you”.
This blog post isn’t just about cake, as I’m hoping you’ve realized. It’s about all things in life. It’s about grabbing happiness by the balls and taking full control of your life.
You want something? Make it happen. You have a goal? Work towards it. Don’t let FEAR and ANXIETY control your decisions in life. Anxiety is only one small part of it, it’s not your whole life.
Easier said than done, I know. I live with anxiety every day and in constant fear of failing and utter rejection. It’s not easy to push through. Some days I fail, but at least I’m showing up. I’ve worked hard to change my mindset which has helped me immensely with working towards my goals and the things that bring my joy in life.
I now celebrate the small wins as well as the big ones. If my goal is to lose 10 pounds, I will celebrate little milestones on the road to getting to my main goal. This has helped me see the little changes and stay excited about my progress.
Not every day I am able to be entirely positive. In fact, some days I’m down right unbearably negative-BUT I remind myself almost every day to… EAT THE DAMN CAKE!
This is my 3am, I can’t sleep so I am writing my feelings blog post. Hope you enjoyed it!
The Socially Awkward Normie 